Calling Austin Powers

It's time to send Austin Powers back in time to find my Bloggy Mojo.  Not only have I been a lazy blogger lately, but I've passed up some great opportunities.

I shall call him Mini Me.

Remember a few weeks back when ABC Family showed one Harry Potter movie after another all weekend long?  We were watching the fourth movie when my son says "Look Mom, it's Edward".  My husband tells him it is Cedric, not Edward.  Then he turns to me for confirmation that the two are different.  I ask if he means the characters of the actor.  He is shocked & asked if "that Rob guy" plays Cedric too.  Seriously? 

Kill me Harry.  Cedric sparkled after he was killed.

I am the perfect predator.  Fear the sparkle!

Everyone from Moaning Myrtle to Lord Voldemort describes

Cedric as "the handsome one".

So handsome that he looks a lot like Edward.

Cedric makes Hufflepuff look cool.

Nom, nom, nom.

 Fanfiction says Ron loves when Cedric "watches him sleep",

at least I think that's what the kids call it nowadays.

How many days until the next move?  Too many. 

 Quick, somebody tell them most Twilight fans love Harry Potter too.

Did I mention we have seen all the Harry Potter movies about five gazillion times?  Years ago when my oldest was having trouble learning Spanish, I put in the first Harry Potter movie & set the language to Spanish.  The kid could quote the movie word for word, so hearing it in Spanish helped. Is it possible an otherwise intelligent man just doesn't want to see the obvious?

Tell me if any of your family/friends have been as oblivious to your Robsession.

PS- spellcheck just tried to change fanfiction to infection.  Do you think it's trying to tell me something?

This ain't horseshoes or hand grenades

I have been close to posting so many times, but we all know that close doesn't count.  Remember when Kim Kardashian's marriage ended after only 72 days?  A flamboyant sales manager came out of the office next to mine and asked "Do you follow the Kardiashians or Twilight?  I never can keep them straight."  Seriously, how can the two be confused?

Then there was the time we were watching Eclipse.  Bella just told Charlie that she is a virgin.  My 12 year old asked "What's a virgin?"  I explained it was someone who hasn't had sex yet.  He says "So, I'm a virgin?"  At first I said yes.  Then I backed up & said I hoped he was.  Kids his age are having kids at his school, so one can't be totally sure.  

News Flash: Famous Ladies Man practices safe sex.

Can't teach son-in-law to do the same.

 She means "Look at her gut".

The scene below is wrong on so many levels.

Bella just felt her Little Nudger move.

In that case, I'm having triplets.

Bella's pregnancy in reverse!

Edward & Jacob have grown up over the course of these movies.

Three guesses who I prefer.

Breaking Dawn did NOT break wind stink.

I loved Breaking Dawn and can't wait to see it again. My only regret is that I won a discount at REI during a trivia contest before the midnight opening.  Like I'm going to use recreational equipment. Right.  Why couldn't I have won one of the coupons for ice cream or pasta they were giving out?

Hope everyone survived Thanksgiving with their families.  I love mine, but a full week with the extended family is more than enough.  Each meal was decided by committee & some looked after kids better than others.

Let me know in the comments how you spent Thanksgiving.

Finally Friday

This has been the longest week in history.  Technically it has the same number of hours as any other week, but it sure hasn't felt that way.  To add insult to injury, it's Spirit Week at the local Middle School.  I've spent precious morning blogging time running around the house trying to locate costumes.

What if I'm not the superhero?

What if I'm the bad guy?

Fangs? check.  Sparkles? check. Vampire cloak? check.  Best quote to teach your kid that had In School Suspension yesterday? um not sure there. He finally changed his mind/clothes & put on karate clothes after letting me know only one other person in his class has seen Twilight.  High fives to the twerp for actually polling ever student in his class to see if they have seen Twilight.  That's my boy!

Since I've be lazy busy and not posted for a while, I've decided all funniez today need to feature Rob.  I've been seen Rob in my dreams lately.  Le sigh.

Seriously??

He can practice on my neck to start with...

Where do you want his head?

No Bella, that's you.

 Spray him anyway.  We like him wet.



Great slogan for Gangsta Edward.

Not so great for misbehaving 12 year old.

Let me know in the comments if your week has also been extra long.  Or who your favorite Edward is: Gangsta, Sparkly, Wet, etc.

Friday Funniez in Forks

As most of you know, I will be in FORKS aka Sparkle Peen Mecca on Friday.  I couldn't go last year and remember what that felt like. So here is a pre-planned scheduled post so those who are unable to be in Forks with us, will know they are not forgotten.

I'll be sleeping like an alcoholic baby while in Forks.

At least I hope so. 

 Insomnia with 3 roommates would be trouble.

How exciting to be meeting many of my on-line friends.

Don't ask which of these friends I am.

Pity the fool who is visiting Forks this week on their own.

Don't ever mess with a gaggle of Twitards.

Can't wait to visit with my favorite man again.

Sorry hubby.

I already have a psychiatrist. 

He has been to the midnight releases of ALL the Twilight movies

& has asked I don't wear glitter at my next session after Forks.

Tay-tay won't be the only one watching for Glittering Vampires.

I wish Twitarded's evening activities were like this.

Their budget wasn't enough for Rob or his body double.

I will be meeting LKW who introduced me to Angry Birds in a fanfic.

It is absolutely amazing how much I have learned from fanfic,

even if you don't count the lemons.

Hasta la pasta.  Will post more when I get back. (I know it is suppose to be Hasta la vista baby, but where is the carbs fun in that?  Even the girls at work have picked up my pasta version.)

Tell me what you are doing if you are not in Forks with the group.  Moping, following Twitter, whatever.

Calories are a girls best friend.

Traveling to Forks has given me the perfect excuse to buy new jeans.  Under normal circumstances I only buy things for the family.  A trip for me was enough out of the norm to get me to replace my old jeans which should have been burned a year ago.   Can anyone tell me why they make Slenderizing jeans in size 6?

It's been a very stressful year for most of us. 

If you are what you eat,

then I am very sweet.

Not true, carbs calories help me survive stress.

Needless to say, trying to find a pair of jeans to fit was cause for more stress.  It was such an ordeal that I had to console myself with a bag of Reece's Pieces. 

Do you need an excuse to buy clothes that are much needed?  Do you use chocolate when stressed out?  Do half of the withdrawals from your bank say Dunking Donuts?  Inquiring minds want to know.

That's what she said

Can you believe Mr TM already nixed our trip to Hawaii in 2013?  He says we may go someday but not in a group of crazy women where I will be the youngest. Sometimes I wonder where that man gets his ideas.  I'm willing to bet 75% of the women going to Forks are younger than me. 

Anyway, time for the funnies which should have been posted two days ago.  My motivation keeps trying to push everything into the "I will think about it after Forks" catgory.

Stephenie did very well from her dream.

A prize to anyone who knows what fanfic this reminds me of.

Hint:  It involves a Docward & a lot of drunk tweets.

Seriously?

You know what sucks? 

Bella in most fanfics.

That's what she said.

I'm bi-fictional because I go both ways?

Edward uses Googe?

That's all for tonight.  I'm so excited about the people I'll be meeting in Forks. Let me know in the comments if you will be there or not.

Hawaii Five-O

First things first.  Only nine more days until FORKS!  I can't wait to see everyone who is going & wish more of you were.  My husband still doesn't know Mrs P won't be in FORKS with us this year.  No offence to other bloggers but if I share something funny from a Twi-blog, those who know me well in RL will say "was that Mrs P".  The two of us go waaaayyyy back.  She was the first to encourage my case of Jacksonitis.

Jackson still dreams about Mrs. Ping.

Speaking of people I won't see in FORKS but would like to meet, the lovely TwiKiwi50 has suggested that next year the Twitards should gather in Hawaii.  She says it is much closer to New Zealand and the gals from United States won't even need a passport.  Sounds like a great idea to me.  I had a birthday last week and next year will hit the big 5 0.  Which got me thinking, (always a dangerous thing). what if we planned a Master of the Universe/Fifty Shades theme and called the gathering Hawaii Five-0.  Something tells me that if we use our collective talents rooms can be negotiated at a lower group rate.  Dangrdafne may have some ideas as she just finished chronicling her trip to Hawaii

Sure we will have to start saving as soon as we get back from FORKS, but sooo worth it.  I already know where my Christmas money will be spent saved.  This will be expensive for me because Mr TM has never been to Hawaii either.  My travel budget just tripled because of two airfares and not sharing rooms with three other Twitards. 

Let's hope all of the 50 Shades trilogy is published by this time next year.  How fun would it be to incorporate Fifty himself into a gathering of Twitards? Are you with me on this?