Is your Twi-filter working

Some people wear sunglasses because their future is so bright.  Others put on their beer goggles when they go out on weekends. (If you ever came home at 2 with a 10 and woke up at 10 with a 2, then blame the beer goggles.) My eyes are safe from either condition.  However my brain runs EVERYTHING through a Twi-filter.  **Apologies in advance for anyone I offend.

Last weekend I was at a GWRRA meeting when they announced an event to commemorate the 10th anniversary of 9/11. My first thought was "9/11 = two days before Bella's birthday".

9/11 - a national tragedy that occurred two days before Bella's birthday

and provided a tragic ending to Remember Me

Even my rotten kid has developed a Twi-filter.  We were discussing how his dad could help him to develop stronger arm muscles by teaching various difficulties of push-ups.  Kid asks if he can ever be as good as Monkey Man.  Once we figured out what he was talking about, I had to show Mr TM the video of Kellan doing push-up on Ellen in 2009.  Finding that video on YouTube was the easy part.  Trying not to noticeable drool in front of my other half was the hard part (twss).

Recently some cable company was constantly advertising their all football all the time package by showing prancing football fans and playing It's the most wonderful time of the year. My brain always thought about FORKS instead of football, so I think It's the most wonderful place to drink beer.

WTF - This came up while looking for images about Rainier Beer.

So NOT the kind of Girl Time I plan to have in FORKS.

One more quick example.  One of my customer contacts at work has first name of Lauren which isn't too funny until you realize her last name rhymes with hussy. 

Let me know how your Twi-filter is working.  I'll even come up with a prize for the best example. 

Anyone remember Friday Funniez?

Yes it is Friday and yes I am fried.  Busy, busy week.  Worked 40 hours in spite of two doctor appointments AND worked out three times this week.  Y'all would be sooooo impressed if you knew what a couch potato I am. 

CYMBALTA IS THE DEVIL.  Just had to get that out of my system.  So glad the withdrawal process is nearly over!  I've ordered Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies as recommended by my shrink.  Of course there will be updates on my "take care of me without drugs" plan.

Now time for a little Twilight vs Harry Potter fun.  My family has loved Harry Potter books, movies & characters since before Twilight.  It isn't either/or for us.  It's more like the more the merrier.

Did you "break headboards" with Cho too!!

Are they talking about Renesmee?

Stalker Cedric - way creepier than Stalker Edward

Finally Harry & Voldy agree on something. 

CYMBALTA IS THE DEVIL!

Oops, that explains my face this week, not his.

Somebody has "daddy issues".

Sorry Harry, we prefer Rob as one of the undead.

As always, let me know which ones if any made you chuckle, snort or spit your drink.  btw-Spellcheck thinks Cho is a chow.  tee hee

Twitarded: The musical

Yesterday was National Bad Poetry Day.  In keeping with my tradition of being a day lat & a dollar short, I'd like to present a salute to Twitarded.  You can hate thank me for it later when one or more of these theme songs gets stuck in your head for weeks. 

Remember the original Star Trek series that has lived for centuries decades in reruns?  Each episode opened with their now well known theme. After 30+ years, it's time to update the intro. Cue music.

Do dooo do do do do dooooo (musical genius at work here folks)
Forks, the final frontier. Endless. Silent. Waiting. This is the story of the great blog Twitarded. Its mission: an endless patrol of the sisterhood. To entertain and share with all Twitards. To explore fanfiction. To travel the vast internet. To boldly go where no MAN has gone before.

Next classic up to be massacred updated is Robin Hood: Men in Tights.  To give you an idea of how funny it is, no other than Mel Brooks created this classic.  Yup the movie has a theme song that will linger in your brain until you beg for an ice pick.  Sooooo here it is (the song, not the ice pick)

We're dorks, we're dorks in Forks.
We roam around the forest looking for Rob.
We're dorks, we're dorks in Forks.
We met on Twitarded and now are a sisterly mob!
We may look like crazy, but not one of us is a snob!
We're dorks, we're dorks in Forks,
Always on guard for a new pic of Rob.

[The Can-Can Chorus Line] to be enacted in Forks

The show Cheers was about friends haning out in a bar in Bawston.  Each friend had their own quirks, yet somehow they were always there to help each other out.  Not a single word needs to be changed in the song below.  We all know the "place where everyone knows your name" means Twitarded and the many, many blogs they have inspired people to start.
Makin' your way in the world today
Takes everything you've got
Takin' a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot
Wouldn't you like to get away?

(CHORUS)
Sometimes you wanna go
Where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came
You wanna be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows your name

All those nights when you've got no lights
The check is in the mail
And your little angel hung the cat up by it's tail
And your third fiancee' didn't show

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Roll outta bed, Mr. Coffee's dead
The morning's lookin' bright
Your shrink ran off to Europe
And didn't even write
And your husband want to be a girl

Be glad there's one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came
You wanna go where people know
People are all the same
You wanna go where everybody knows your name

That's all for this morning.  Time to get me A-double-dollar-signs to the office so I can do my work, the work of a slacker that got downsized & cover for a dear co-worker with a medical tragedy.

PS- If I'm lucky Blogger will be nicer to me today and allow me "permision" to respond to comments on MY OWN FRIGGIN BLOG. 

PPS- Blogger is STILL not allowing me to preview the post before publishing.  So if something looks funky, you know who to blame (not me).

I get by with a little help from my Twi-friends

Be gentle with me.  I haven't posted in so long that I feel like a blogger-virgin.  Did the last post scare some of you?  Not half as much as it scared me. What can I say?  I come from a dysfunctional family & the Matriarch of Dysfunction just dropped by for her annual visit.

Not actual picture of TwitardedMom.

Thanks to the condern of my on-line friends, I am going to get professional help. (No not the Oldest Profession).  Apparently taking Cymbalta for depression has a tendency to make you depressessed, suicidal & unmotivated for blogging.  Gotta fix that shit because I love blogging with y'all.

No friends are better than Twi-friends. 

Oh Shit! In one of my Uber Depressessed, I Don't Deserve to Have Friends episodes, I unfollowed EVERY blog I ever followed.  Now that I'm working on regaining my sanity, please help by telling me which blogs I should follow. 

Twitarded Goes To Forks is also on the top of my Oh Shit O-meter. I'll have 500 smackaroos in the bank with 300 or so going to airfair.  I don't know if it is better to fly in on Wednesday or Thursday when it comes to sharing a rental car.  I don't know how much to plan for hotel expense because the Forks Forum is kinda confusing me.  Since I've a birthday in a few weeks, the plan is to ask for $$$ towards going to Forks.  I'm still freaking out about whether I will have enough to: 1) travel from Seattle to Forks, 2) pay for a part of a shared room for several nights and 3) afford to eat & drink.

My OCD, ADD, and Other Intials are kicking in big time. (setting up appt with shrink this week)  If you have been to Forks with Twitarded, I'm begging you to throw out a ball park figure of what it cost.  Should I plan on selling my soul plasma for travel money?  Will folks be offended if I eat from a jar of peanut butter all week instead of being sociable at a restaurant? 

This is your golden oppotunity to tell me where to go what to do.  Don't pass up the chance.

It will be as if I never exsisted.

Howdy.  Long time no blog.  Just wanted everyone to know I've been discussing a trip to FORKS with the hubster.  Turns out he doesn't understand me wanting to spend a bunch of money to meet people I've only met on the internet.  On the one hand I'm not going to destroy an 18 year marriage over this. On the other hand I can't bear hearing about the adventure that I can't be a part of when I actually have the vacation time and money to go. 

This is the real reason I've not posted for over a month.  It was a head start toward the separation.  I love you all, and will miss you.