Friday Funniez on New Year's Eve

Ho Ho Ho.  Christmas season is over & the new year is upon us.  I hope your Christmas has been as good as mine: days off of work, white Christmas, time with family and Kiltward.  If you haven't read Coming Through the Rye yet, give it a try.  It is 30 quick chapters of romance/humor with a Scottish Edward who marries Bella just to stay in the country when his work visa expires.  Little does he know that she has been hopelessly in love with him for two years.

Due to fanfic procrastination, I'm just getting around to the last of Christmas images I found.

And his package is better than what Santa brings.

This looks like my kitten that has smashed

Christmas ornaments all over the house.

My computer background during the season.

I hated to change it after Christmas.

 I'd make him my Target any day.

All righty now.  Out with the old and in with the new.  2010 was an eventful year.  Don't know how I would have survived it without the help of my followers and the wonderful people I follow.

Time for my wishes for 2011.

For Rob:

 I wish Rob all the Hot Pockets he can eat.

Hey Rob, I have a pocket that is hot!! TWSS

Heineken and pussy.

Rob's favorite double act.

For my followers:

At least one night in the sack (or sleeping bag) with Rob.

Plenty of Kellan's Calvins.

Rockin times with Jackson.

Enjoy your New Year.  Drink Responsibly and Be Safe.

For the Lutz sluts

Have you seen New Moon yet?  Of course you have unless you stumbled into the wrong blog.  Well I just found a reason to watch it again cause you know I need a good reason to do that.  Showtime is having a free preview weekend the first weekend of January. 

Commentary by Kellan Lutz during New Moon on Jan 8.

Commentary by Pfach during Twilight on Jan 9th.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas.  I asked Santa for a Wii fit.  Who knew it would perform a quick evaluation and declare me Unbalanced?  LOL

Friday Funniez - Christmas edition

Merry Christmas to all my friends and followers.  This Christmas has been a fail for me, but let's hope yours is going better.  Apparently you should ask if you are on speaker phone before discussing The Santa Present for your youngest with your husband on his cell phone. Otherwise, the youngest may be sitting next to him hanging on every word.

Speaking of fail, my oldest got some interesting mail today.  His grades aren't good enough for him to return to college in January.  Turns out all that empty nest turmoil I went thru in August was unnecessary.  Who knew?  We are both in a bit of shock tonight.

I'm not picky.

I'll take Edward, Emmett or Jasper

This is what my youngest said the first time

he saw James in Twilight.

Am I raising him right or what?

 'nuff said

 Finally a Christmas carol I can relate to.

I love "Emmett to learn some manners"

I am not eating anymore icicles.  EVER

Dick in a box looks good on him.

I don't know care what he has to do with Twilight.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas

and a Happy Trail too

Who's next after me?

On the bright side, I've found & wrapped what the kids want most.  My in-laws are hosting Christmas dinner tomorrow so I'm not stuck cooking.  And I have many wonderful friends in Twi-land.  Friends and family are the best presents anyone want.

What's in a name

Bad blogger.  Long time no write.  It's that time of the year when our time is divided between Christmas preparations, reading blogs, working, reading fanfic, kids and cold weather bugs.  Oh year and blogging when there is still enough energy.  Today is day number - way to forkin many of my life sucking cold and I actually feel up to blogging before work!!!!

First order of business:  Congratulations to Twired Jen who just got engaged.  Read all about it here. I'm a big fan of marriage myself since I've been married three times.  Yup marriage is a fine old institution and apparently I'm not the only one who needs to be institutionalized. Wait a minute, that came out wrong.

Now on to looking at Twilight names.  It is amazing what a name or just a change of a few letters to a name can do to change things. For instance: What if Isabel was named Jezebel?

Jezebel Marie Swan would you do me the honor of marrying me?

Since you are always trying to seduce me anyway

and I can't think of any other way to protect your virtue

Kinda puts a different spin on the entire proposal.  Names can be funny things.  A person who shares a cube wall with me in the germ factory/cube farm where I work handed out scented anti-bacterial hand gel for Christmas.  Doesn't sound that festive until you realize my bottle was named Twilight Woods.

This will cum in handy since I plan on doing durty things

with those Twilight guys & their woods.

Seems like everywhere I go, I hear Twilight names. I love it when people spell out names carefully.  A as in apple, E as in Edward and so forth.  My Team Jacob co-worker spends 40 hours a week working the account of just one large customer.  Why would you care?  Because one of the names on many orders is Tr*nt Cullen. (Is it OK to use real names here?)  At least Mr Cullen goes by "Trent" so he isn't recognized. You know how the Cullens like to be inconspicuous. 

No, not this eclipse.

Another co-worker is out most of today because he stayed up to watch an Eclipse (lunar event). I fondly remember taking time off work because I stayed up to watch Eclipse (movie premier).  Almost, but not quite the same.

I'm not telling what I did to make him smile.

Am I the only one who things of the precious whenever they here Rob mentioned? Even when the news says someone was robbed.  I'm so sick I would volunteer to be Rob'd or Kellan'd or Jackson'd.  Don't fight guys, there is plenty of me to go around.

What names/words remind you of Twilight?

Friday Funniez are a day late. Blame the fanfic

Yeah, yeah.  The weather has turned cold around here.  I've been hibernating with fanfic & a blanket. The good news is I can read fanfic on my Droidx without ever bothering to fire up the computer.  Of course no computer means no blogging & makes it difficult to comment on other blogs. 

and a few other assorted parts

Hockeyward loves a tight little beaver

oddly enough too big turns out to be just right

They always find this elusive spot

Currently I'm reading Misapprehension of Bella Swan by Hunterhunting.  Sure I eagerly awaited a new chapter each Wednesday for 28 weeks.  I just thought it would be fun to read the whole story at one time.  What are you reading?

IRWTSMN during the holidays

I don't know about y'all, but Thanksgiving with the family didn't help my IRWTSMN diet at all.  There was just too much good food to be had while enjoying the time visiting family.  If we weren't going to a breakfast buffet, it was out to a nice restaurant for dinner.  The few times we ate at my dad's house, there was chocolate, apple & pecan pie to finish the meal.   

Actual belly size changed to protect the (not so) innocent.

This weeks starts my round of Christmas parties.  Oh yeah, the all you can eat smorgasbord of holiday goodies.  I'm planning on loosing weight even though the odds are stacked against me this month.  Hope you are doing the same.  Sure it's great to enjoy some seasonal yummies, but I'm trying really hard to be good when not at the parties.   

I've heard of being hot, but this is ridiculous.

Loosing weight is supposed to be about burning more calories than you eat.  The good thing about my current lifestyle that any activity at all puts me in the category of more active than before.  Whether putting in 10 minutes on my elliptical before work or running up & down the stairs half a dozen times with Christmas decorations, it all burns calories. 

 I have one of these machines in my bedroom.

Is there another way to exercise in there?

In addition to just moving a little more, I do much better when I drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.  I know, I know, everyone says that.  I just rarely drink much water.  Maxine & I agree that water is just coffee that hasn't reached it's full potential.  As much as it goes against years of straight coffee or diet coke, I've been drinking water lately.  Who knew all those folks knew what they were talking about?

 Believe it or not, both versions work.

Hopefully with just a little bit of moderation, we can all be a teensy bit closer to our goals by the end of the holiday season.  It is just too easy to throw the towel in and give up when there is temptation all around.  Let's support each other with better temptations. 

 I can have his body in 28 days?!

Oops.  This is the IRWTSMN diet, not the IKWRSMN diet.  Sorry about that here is some Rob to remind you why we are doing this. 

Want to join me in my sleeping bag? 

We can have a smoke afterward.

Tell me how you are planning to survive the holidays.  Are you trying to stay relatively good or just pig out and make up for it later?  Does Rob motivate you to take better care of yourself? 

Friday Funniez on Eclipse Eve

Everyone is excited about the Eclipse DVD being released in a few hours.  Except for those in Australia & New Zealand.  It has been released over there for daze days.  I'm excited about getting my hands on what will probably be the best movie of the entire saga. 

Enjoy the Texas twang when Jasper tells his fighting history.

I love me some Jackson.  We have already bought The Last Airbender on DVD.  Not a great movie. It does follow the cartoon series faithfully and has lots of Jackson as Sokka.  He is one of the main characters.  I never can remember the name of the Princess that Sokka falls in love with.  Please, nobody tell Mr TM that I only wanted this movie so I could watch Jackson in a leading role.

Jasper Sokka with his love, Mrs Princess Ping

December is here is more than the month Eclipse is released.  It is the month of frantic Christmas shopping, decorating and cooking.  Thankfully there are some all purpose stocking stuffers available to simplify your shopping.

The perfect holiday gift for all the humans on your list.

 

Jug of blood fo rall the vampires on your list.

Easy, peasy that covers everyone.  You will thank me later when you finish in record time and have more time for fanfic.