It's Friday and this is so not funny

Today I faced Atlanta traffic for the first time & lived to tell about it.  So now I'm in Seattle where it is still Friday.

Earlier this week Mr TM and  I went to college orientation with our son.  I looked forward to some Twi-observations as we traveled.  We passed Wake Forest University which of course reminded me of the Cullens.  Wake - for the vampires that never sleep, Forest - where they hunt irritable grizzly & mountain lion and University - because they matriculate so much.  Upon arriving in Raleigh we passed Six Forks Rd which I thought was quite appropriate since I would be in Forks six days later. 

When my son, Matt first met us at the Best Worst Western, he handed me the Team Jacob bracelet our youngest had lost in his car some time back. Little did I know this would be an OMEN for the next two days at North Carolina State University. 

The longer we were at NCSU, the more something seemed wrong.  First the NCSU Millionaire trivia game had three life lines: 50/50, ask the audience or howl like a wolf.  The more I looked around, the more wolves I saw.  The flyer about university transportation was titled "Are you ready to run with the wolf pack?"  Street signs, t-shirts, everywhere you looked, there was a wolf!

We were only at NCSU because they have one of the finest engineering programs in the country. Now I find out they have a wolf for a mascot!!!  The horrors.  I never dreamed I would be loosing another child to the wolves.  Isn't it bad enough that my youngest is Team Jacob? 

Edward made sure that wolf knew he wasn't afraid.

It's a good thing I had Edward with me to keep some sanity around.  He put those wolves right in their place.  Edward really knows how to lay the smack down on these dogs.

Can you believe the entire Parent's Orientation was in a place called the Stewart Theatre?  I knew I had to get a picture when I realized the middle name was Jackson.  Mmmm sweet, sexy Jackson.

A while later I realized the first Twilight movie had a James. Um, I even think someone with the last name of Stewart might be in some of the Twilight movies too. Don't quote me on that one because I'm not sure.

Laters baby. 

Kellan Forks Me

First we'll talk about the Kellan Kampaign, then later me my trip to Forks.  What???  Surely you didn't think that title was all one idea.  Such dirty minds.  Now I'm wondering if there is any Emmett fanfic.  Ooohh, I could get into that. Or maybe let it get into me.

Have you noticed my new Kellan pic?  Tongue-Twied has had enough of  "watching the dogs run around half nekkid for 2 movies" and is hoping for shirtless Kellan during the arm wrestling scene.  All she asks us to do is add a badge (made by the talented Kelly from mydiscomROBulation) onto your blog.  She has 4 to choose from and all feature shirtless Kellan.

I stole this from Tongue-Twied too.

It would take a stronger h00r than me to resist.

In just one short week, I will be in Forks for the day.  I can't wait.  Friday I drive to Atlanta & fly to Seattle.  Saturday my mom picks me up and takes me to here home on Whidbey Island for 5 days.  My mom has never read Twilight, but last time she visited I made her watch the movie.  Soooo, when she decided it was time for me to visit her, she promised a day trip to Forks.  I was thought, she is on the Puget Sound how far can it be.  Then I did the math and wondered here if 3.5 hours each was worth it.  My sweet mother made reservations on the first ferry to Port Townsend and the last ferry back to Whidbey Island. 

I'm so forking excited!!!!

 
Can't wait to visit Dazzled By Twilight and buy some Cullen Candy.  Mmmmmm.  A chocolate Edward that I can eat.  Maybe I'll freeze it so he is cold when I eat him.  So much to see and do in just one day. 

Friday Funniez on time for a change

Just call me Bicycle Babe because I have been too two tired this week. Spending most of my week learning a new computer system whilst trying to stay caught up on my regular work has just drained me.  Plus I wake up during the night & think about Fifty.  Please, please, please tell me someone else thinks about Fifty as if he were a real person.  Now it's time to Show Me the Funny.

Now we know why our men don't watch Twilight without us.

Do you see the resemblance?

This make me think of all he could do to me with those feathers?

Remember when Jacob left at the end of Eclipse?

I think he took off in Edward's Volvo.

Bestiality & small children -

everything Jacob loves.

Head over to Tongue Twied for her Kellan Kampaign.  Y'all better watch yourselves, the ever talented Mrs P was on four, count em four, blogs today.  That's right.  TwiBite, Walk with Mrs P, Twi-sted Edbrella and 17 Forever.  Not sure if she is bored or just really, really needs to escape to the blogosphere with the kids home for the summer.  Now that she has started hijacking blogs, who knows where she appear next.  LOL

Friday Funniez a day late & MOTU

Story of my life.  Always a day late & a dollar short.  This time, however it's not my fault. Honest.  You can blame Master of the Universe.  My fanfic poll never counted any votes.  Not sure what I did wrong, but the comments indicated MOTU was THE fanfic to read next.  So I started it Thursday.  All I can say is if you haven't given MOTU a try, do so.  NOW.   The story is much, much better than the summary even hints at.

Summary:

Bella Swan is drafted in to interview the reclusive, enigmatic Edward Cullen, multi-millionaire CEO of his company. It's an encounter that will change her life irrevocably, leading her to the darkest realms of desire. Adult themes, AH AU, Bella and Edward.

Ok, ok, enough preaching for now on the wonder that is of 50shades.  On with the Friday Funniez which really should be called Saturday Sillies since I'm running late.

And somehow Bella likes this????

This smart gal used her Pussy to get some Peter.

My filthy mind is having fun with that combination.

I would have to add "or Kellan Lutz or Jackson Rathbone".

When did I pass Robsessed and turn into a full fledged Twi-Ho?

You see what comes of reading too much fanfic?

A little New Moon.

Laters babe.  I got things to do this weekend.  Fanfic, laundry, fanfic, dishes, fanfic, cooking, fanfic...  Well you get the idea.

Time to vote

I promised a poll when I hit 50 followers and actually hit 51!  Of course the opening of Eclipse and 4th of July weekend sidetracked me for a couple days.  Plus I had to rush out and see The Last Airbender.  Jackson was great and I loved seeing him as one of the main characters.  May have to do an entire post on him later this week. 

He can bend me any day.

I may be crazy but, I'm letting you decide which fanfic I should read next.  So many people have been talking about Master of the Universe and University of Edward Mason that I can't decide.  Of course other suggestions have been made as well. 

Some great stories are not on the poll because I've already read them once or twice:  Wide Awake, The List, Clipped Wings and Inked Armor & The Misapprehension of Bella Swan Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Whores.  If you haven't read these at least once, then get started.  The List & MoBS are fun without all the angst.  Wide Awake and CW&IA are longer stories that are full of everything good.  Plot, angst, humor, and of course lust.  These are not light, fluffy stories but definitely worth your time.

Mine never was normal to start with.

Voting will open this morning as soon as I get the poll posted (hopefully within a few minutes of this post).  Since once is never enough for me, the poll is not limited to one vote per person.  Vote early, vote often. 

My IMAX experience at the #1 Midnight Movie Evah!!

Note from TwitardedMom: I'm jealous of Fangbanger. My town doesn't have an IMAX.

OK, so I'm a little slow getting this to virtual paper..but in my defense, I did have to work the next day & the rest of the week & had to go see the movie again this morning-way diff experience by the way-and so now the kids are fed & I can sit down uninterrupted!! So Here's how it went down in my city in SoCal...

I am the biggest Fan out of the group that was going..it was my same group from New Moon..and they are all Co-workers except for my friend that I just re-met on Facebook that I went to Middle School/High School with. When I say "biggest fan" I guess I mean obsessed freak..I sometimes get alot of eye-rolling from them..but for the most part, they put up with me because I am just fucking adorable like that ;-)

So as the biggest fan, I took off work at Noon with the intention of getting my happy ass in line early, since there was only 1 IMAX screen & I sure as hell did not want to have crappy seats at $18 a tix. My school friend went with me-she's unemployed & makes her own schedule-the rest stayed at work like the good little drones that they are!! (side-note, the next day the Supervisor said she kept waiting for the rest of the group to try & weasel their way out early since she pretty much figured that's where I was lol). I drove by the theater on my way home.."just to see" if there was even anyone in line yet...here's what I saw:

Midnight..pfft..that means Noon bitchez...

So I hurried my ass home to change-called my friend & told her to hurry up so we could get there. She says "fuck-I don't have an umbrella, do you?" Umm..no-I don't go camping, why would I have an umbrella? Great..I basically look like the Cullens year-round..so my pasty ass is about to fry standing in the sun for 6 hours...Super as Charlie would say...So she picks me up, we go by BK cuz I haven't eaten & do not want to pass out in the sun..and get my Eclipse Meal..we finally got there at 2pm. We start setting up, and my friend finds that there is only 1 chair in the bag thingy...so she leaves me to drive way the way back home to get another chair. BTW her neighbor lent us an umbrella, so my hide was saved. I would have died otherwise. Everyone was set up in the open-air plaza/street thing that is in front of the theater, between the theater & the mall. All the streets surrounding were shut down...at 2pm I was 35th in line. First person was there at 1a.m.

I myself do not get the "screaming teenage girls" bad-rap label that Twilight has gotten. Every event I have gone to has been mostly adult 20-50 yr old women. Sure there's a sprinkling of preteens & teens but they are always outnumbered. Is it just because they scream the loudest & we are more likely to just moan & drool?

What-you thought it would be some gossip mag?

Amazingly, we were really comfortable in our chairs with the umbrella, with all the movie guides & magazines & convos with the other Twihearts..time flew by..and it really didn't seem that hot out even though it must've been in the 80's at least. I was giggling from time to time at the Twitters coming through..someone at Twitarded had serious Swamp Ass or something... and it was really organized that with our wristbands we could just come/go and hang out in the mall..which must've made a killing at Starbucks alone!! So now it was around 6pm and the line was winding pretty far away...

Who stands in line really? Amateurs...

Overall they were sold out & it was 3200 tickets for our theater alone. I can say I was definitely not surprised about the 30 Mil for Midnight..would've been higher but even alot of hardcore fans decided to wait till the weekend...I still really hope the fans pull through & it does some serious shit kickin this weekend!!

So then a radio station was there-playin music from the movie & doing Trivia & a costume contest. The costumes were 10 kinds of lame I'm embarrassed to say..people at Comic-Con were way more creative. Then again, everyone knows they were going to be standing outside all freakin day and probably didn't wanna make the effort-no biggee, didn't make the day any less awesome!! It was funny because a group of guys just whipped their shirts off & started growling like they were the Wolf Pack LOL..luckily they were good lookin guys, otherwise they might've been ridiculed right outta the mall. The funniest thing was the crazy comments of all the people walking by. They were so incredulous about the crowd of people camped out!! They kept asking us what was going on & were we for real...Midnight? Really? One kid asked if it was the line for the bathroom LOL..best line of the day. There were some douchy gothy kids that were talkin shit-yelling that Twilight Sucks..which is a crazy thing to do when you're outnumbered 3200 to 3...and then one of the kids was yelling across the crowd looking for his friend.."Crystal!!!!" and one of the Twitarded type women yelled back "EDWARD!!!!" Her daughter was mortified but we thought it was funny as hell.

The Trivia was great-and sadly most of the people didn't know any of it.."What was the principal's name" "what was Riley's last name" which of course now we all know cuz it was shown/mentioned multiple times..but in the books it was not so prevalent. And the question they gave me when I was called up to the stage "what is Edward's favorite animal to hunt"..which I of course knew-I am a total Edward Hoor and it was like the question was hand-picked for me!! The embarrassing part was I was competing with a 9 yr old girl LOL..so the victory was kinda bittersweet...she said "Wolves" which should've gotten her a runner-up prize at least, because it was funny...and I behaved like a total adult & did not gloat or say "in your face loser!" like is almost called for in those circumstances ;-) I got a really cool Cullen Poster-which has Edward gazing down at me lovingly from my wall at work..#totalwin

Our Motley Crew 9 hrs later..hyped up on coffee & ready!!!

Did I mention my friend & I held our place in line for 9 hours & then the other 3 showed up? They all went home & took naps!! What kind of fuckery is this you ask? I know I asked-fo sho...so they're supposed to bring me coffee-and when they get there, they had a "mishap" which is another way of saying they fucked something simple up and they are laughing & hand me my cup of coffee which had maybe 2 oz left in it!! Apparently the designated driver got her license online from some agency in Zimbabwe or something..and was driving *this is how it played out in my head* like Cruella DeVille..barreling down the highway wreaking havoc..and spilled my entire cup of coffee on the back floor of her car...I was not all that amused..luckily I was infused with glorious fluttery anxiety of seeing the Precious in HiDef beauty..all was forgiven-any other day and it would not have ended in such a Hallmark fashion!!

FINALLY we got into the theater..and I got a cupcake for answering another Trivia question correctly..and we were beyond ready to be awed!! I have never seen an IMAX movie but was expecting it to be awesome-I was not disappointed!! From the first blast of sound to the closing credits, we were wet enthralled and blown away!! Definitely worth the extra money!

I saw it again today on a regular screen at 11 AM...the theater was full..but there was absolutely no sounds whatsoever. Such a different experience..no cheering/clapping..no rooting for anyone..all that ruckus almost makes it more exciting ya know?! Hope you all had great experiences too! We'd love to hear about 'em..did you see IMAX? Did you think it was worth it? Midnight/regular? Leave a comment or a link to your posts..

Friday Funniez

Has everyone seen Eclipse yet?  No spoilers here, by will say it is better than Twilight & New Moon put together.  Just from reading the book you know it has plenty Bella, Jacob, Wolfpack, Edward, ALL the other Cullens & Volturi.  Neither Twilight or New Moon gave you all that.  Plus two words: Tent Scene.

Do you remeber The Fly with Jeff Goldblum? 

 Help meee.

As if you could kill the marvelous Edward Cullen.

Not the gumdrop buttons.

Don't even get me started on the World Cup.  Fanfic has completely ruined it for me.  When people at work talk about who "scored" or "got one in" my mind immediately goes to the gutter. What is it with the World Cup anyway?  Earlier this week I saw a headline on the news "Can England be good?".  I have to assume it was about soccer/football.  What a broad question.

Speaking of news and minds that wander, apparently the first hurricane of the season is called Alex with an X.  I kept listening to the news about this storm that turned into a hurricane & I thought they were naming the first storm Alice.  How appropriate that on June 30th, Alice is a force of nature.  Or so I thought until I saw a headline about hurricane Alex.  You gotta admit Alice & Alex sound similar to someone who only half listens to the news.

Sometime over the holiday weekend, I'll put together the poll & let you pick my next fanfic.  RugbyMom is the only one to make any suggestions.  Let me know if there is a great fanfic out there to destroy my mind/morals even more.