Jackson almost wet Rathbone

This weekend I told Mr. TM about my blog. It had been weighing heavy on me since we are one of those uber affectionate couples that do everything together. On the one hand we don't keep secrets from each other. On the other hand, this blog was started to let my freak flag fly and say things that I can't front of family or co-workers.

I haven't been inspired since The Confession to post anything that is both funny, twitarded & husband safe. Is there such a combination? When Mrs P asked for pics of Jackson wet, I found plenty of almost pics that needed explanation. Most are from Twi-Carol at her blog Team Jacksper. If you haven't checked her out yet, start with this post about Jackson & his invisable shirt.

Does this count as a wet picture? Jackson isn't wet in this wallpaper but might be you after seeing this.

Jackson is wet in this pic from the ankles down. Any volunteers to push him in the water and do dirty things with him?

Jackson as S Darko is showing us some tongue. Where do you want him to wet you with that?

Jackson working up a sweat while on stage with 100 monkeys. Any suggestions of how you would like to help Jackson work up a sweat?


Hopefully Mrs P & others will be able to answer some of the questions posed brought to mind by these almost wet pictures.

Forks or Bust

I may or may not be visiting Forks this summer. It's my turn to visit my mom in the Oak Harbor, WA. Was out there in 2002 & 2006. This will be my first trip to see her since I discovered Twilight. She lured me out with promises of a day trip to Forks. Tickets for the last week in July was bought before Christmas.

Sounds like a perfect twofer. Family & Forks in the same trip. Seriously, how far could Oak Harbor be from Forks? Both are on the Puget Sound. Then I started doing the math.

Oak Harbor is above the blue rectangle for Port Townsend. It's about half an hour to Keystone where we can board the ferry at 8:45. Need to make sure we leave early for the ferry.

Ferry arrive in Port Townsend around 9:30. Then only two and a half hours of driving to get to Forks. Should get in noon. Time to eat lunch and tour beautiful Forks. Probably La Push too since Jr is Team Jacob.

But when to head back? Choices are either leave Forks by 2:30 if taking the 5:15 ferry back or should we leave Forks by 5:15 if taking the 8:30 ferry. Remember once on the ferry it is a 35 minute boat ride followed by another half hour drive. The first choice doesn't give enough time and the second makes for one loooong day.

Just to make things a little more interesting, the trip will be me, my mom who never has & never will read Twilight and my son who put the H in ADHD. Let's throw one more thing into the mix. My mom does NOT like long car rides. When she comes to the Carolinas to visit her kids, she would rather fly from Asheville to Atlanta to Myrtle Beach than make the five hour drive by car.

Starting to wonder if it would be sacrilige to get that close & not visit Forks or just plain stupid to drive that far when I won't actually get to see Rpattz or KLutz. Blogger has suddenly decided not to let me add any more pics this morning, so click here to see both hotties.

Hump Day Humor

It's Wednesday again. That means we survived the first half of our week. Time for a well deserved break from the craziness of RL.

Don't worry about it Rob baby. I prefer you without them.

One of the funniest sites anywhere is failblog.org. If you visit them make sure to visit all the different tabs. This is from a new section called failbooking.com. Most of the fails are real things that just do not work.Epic fail for Edward. Wonder if Jasperpants can make Bella forgive him.

Suddenly I have an urge to Go Green. Which Cullen do you want to ride.

How about I cum up there and show you a few things instead? Promise to make you forget all about Hagrid's scary spider.

Hey Rob, I have a few other ideas of where you can put that mouth.

Happy Hump Day. Time for me to go read chapter four of A Vampire in Wolfs Clothing.

Beardy Rob for the win?

Many of you have been talking about how Rob looked last Friday at Hope for Haiti. I admit the Grizzly Adams look just doesn't do much for him.

Someone has suggested thi beard is in preparation for filming Unbound Captives. Can you picture Rob in a western where he has been captured & raised by Comanches? Rob wearing nothing but a beard & loincloth is a definite win. After all, who would be looking at his face.

Monday doggie style

I hate Monday. This one has been kickin my ass. So I need to kick someone else to make me feel better. Isn't that how it works? What/who should I bitch about today?

Twilight is going to the dogs! That's right. The stars of my favorite books/movie have been doing it doggie style.

I simply don't understand people who feel a need to dress up their pets.

The ever lovely Ashely Greene with Marlowe. Be very proud of me. I resisted the urge to post a pic of Aslhey & Kellan with Marlowe.

Speaking of Kellan, here he is with Kola. Anyone see the Ellen show where Kellan talked about adopting Kola from the pound? Yup, Kola put his head between Kellan's legs and Kellan knew he had a friend for life. I want to try the same thing & see what happens. Please. Please.

Taylor enjoys spending time with his dog Roxy. I hear they like it ruff.

Nikki Reed got papped walking her dog with her"friend" Sage. I don't like Nikki or Rosalie & couldn't care less what her dog is named.

I hope your Monday isn't as ruff as mine has been. Did I miss anyone that you want some animal loving from? Gotta go back to work. The very idea of doggie style & Kellan in the same post should make me smile all day.

Click here to see Mrs. P for interpreting my Twilight dream.

DILF - Twilight style

don't know about you, but one thing that took me by surprise was how young & sexy Billy Burke was as Charlie Swan. Somehow I expected a greying, balding man in his 40's. Between Twilight & New Moon, Billy bacame a father himself. He thinks it helps him play a father better. Can't prove it my me. I think he was great in both movies.
The always yummy Billy Burke out strollin with his girls.

Another father figure would be Carlisle Cullen better known as PFach. Somehow I wonder if the movies are a way for him to get away from all the estrogen in his home life. Does he realize the wife will be going thru menopause while the girls go thru puberty? Enough to make any man run for their life.

Gotta luv those manly shoes. Actually he would look better not wearing anything.

Some of us prefer tha bad boy types. Cam Gigandet was hot as James. Now that I think of it he is hot in everything he plays. If you haven't seen Never Back Down, it's worth it just for Cam.

Cam must be the only one who can pull off a baby sling and still look like a smokin hot bad boy.

What? You were't expecting to find RPattz here. He isn't officially a dad yet. I just lurve this pic of him. It was taken right after he finished "practicing" making babies.

I'll help you "make babies". Nobody better tell him I've been fixed.

Cupcakes are sweet

Roses are red

Violest are blue

Cupcakes are sweet

and Tatward is too

I've just emerged from the time sucking black hole known as fanfic. This time it was Clipped Wings and Inked Armor by the ubertalented hunterhunting. I started reading it over the weekend and all other activities were eclipsed. If you haven't read this yet, get your ass over there as soon as you have several days to loose. It's a great story full of plot. angst and smut.

Bella is a college student haunted by the gosts of her past because she lost everyone she ever loved while on her way to a destination wedding to Jacob. Family, friends, fiancee all died and all she is left with is overwhelming guilt.

Edward, Emmett & Jasper run a tattoo shop. Alice does the piercings for them. Edward's parents were bruttally murdered when he was 17. Not only did he find the bodies, but he suffers from overwhelming guilt. He is one tough dude covered in tattos and piercings. His only weakness seems to be cupcakes.

Of course, there is instant attraction. However they are both scarred and unsure of themselves. Sometimes the emotions are too overwhelming to talk about, so they just have hot sex to sooth their past demons.

Mr TM was asking me at one point if I had gotten to anything good yet. His definition of good is smutty detailed sex scenes. I admitted that they didn't have sex until chapter 20. What I didn't say was how erotic everything leading up to the actual act was.

WARNING: This story may be hazardous to your health. It may lead to reading day and night. Reading fanfic while driving in rush hour traffic is not recommended. Reading fanfic at work may lead to jumping nervously everytime someone approaches. Reading fanfic while sitting in a church may lead to getting struck by lightning. Hiding your Blackberry under your pillow at night just in case you wake up and need something to read may lead to questions about your sanity.

How did that happen

Can you remember the early days of your Twisession? Ah yes, fond memories as I progressed from books, to websites to blogs. One of my favorite websites used to be TwilightMoms. Their discussion board for "you know you're obsessed when" never failed to crack me up.

• My family and friends said I was obsessed. All I had to do to feel normal would be to visit my favorite websites and blogs.


• I didn't have an Edward Cullen action figure back in the days when everyone was posting pics with Mini E on their blogs. Kept telling myself I was too cheap to get one when in reality, I was nervous about Mr. TM's reaction.


• I didn't have a blog like so many obsessed fans.


• I didn't check web & blogs first thing every morning.


• I didn't have plans to ever visit Forks or go to a Twi-Con.

Everyone was posting pics with Mini E. Of course Twitarded took him out drinking.

Nearly each month for the last year I've either converted another co-worker to the Twi-side or have aquired new Twi-merch for my cube. Each month I spend a little more time on my laptop at home. This week the sudden realization came to me: I have a Twi-blog, own a mini E, am planning a trip to Forks and check blogs before breakfast.

Huh??? When exactly did I decide that being normal was overrated? I now proudly fly my Freak Flag both at home & work without ever even making the decision to do so. Looking back, it was just one baby step at a time.

I want a shirt that says "Twitarded and proud of it"

Makes me wonder what might be next. I guarantee whatever it is, it will be guaranteed to be fun and at least a little smutty.

Speaking of smut. Here are some pics that make my mind & panties melt.What are you smiling about you naughty boy? You look sooooo satisfied.

Stop biting that lip. I'll give you something better to do with that mouth.

I love my monkey man. Who could resist a smile like that? The rest of him ain't bad either.

This one is dedicated to Mrs P. Take good care of him.

Hump Day Humor

RL has been kicking my butt pretty bad lately. So todays post is stolen. Um, I mean today I'm sharing some humor from twilt. You've probably seen some of their pieces around. BTW - names are deliberately wrong as part of the humor.

Any volunteers to help practice?

Hold on, I need to get off me feet for a while.

I've been fixed, so he can poke me anywhere he likes.

His version of playing Wii sounds like more fun than the new version of Pokemon

Say it aint so. Why don't you hang out around me, I'll be glad to double check it.

Twilt has funies like these for a wide variety of topics. For some reason, only the ones about sex made it into this little sampling. Can't imagine why. LOL

I need YOUR help.

That's right, I'm asking all of you to give me advise. No, not the psychiatric kind. Tho I probably need that too. I need bloggy advise. Plus I'm willing to pay for it in advance with hot pics and hotter fanfic.

First question is about Photoshop. See I got a new laptop with some Christmas money. I'd like to get a photo program for playing with pics of Rob. I'm not into making videos, just messing with pics. Many of you have blogs. Any ideas about what kind of program is best?
Robmusement has just moved from Wordpress to Blogger. If you haven't checked her out, the Rob Glossary alone is worth the time.

You don't have to be Team Jacksper to enjoy the site by that name. Of course there are many great pics of Jackson/Jasper. Plus Twicarol has long lists of Fave Jasper Fics, Fave Edward and even a few If Carlisle Does It For You. What is that? Not even one or two measly fics for Emmett. That's OK, I love Edward & Jasper too. I'm such a twi-slut.

Just one more question that I really need answered. Is the intenet public? I know that sounds like a stupid question. Let me explain my concern. In 1993 I was single and dating the man of my dreams. Of course, I weighed less at the time. If my boyfriend bought me anything to wear it would be short mini skirt type dresses. Of course panties & bra were always optional.
Then we decided to make it official and get married. Once I became his wife, the dresses came down to my ankles. WTF? Turns out I thought I was just marrying the man I love.
I also married into a Respectable Republican family. Apparently short skirts & cussing are not very Respectable. Now I cuss quite a lot in my mind, but hardly ever outloud. So I internet question really boils down to: Is cussing in the bloggy world OK even if you aren't supposed to in RL?

Here is your reward for responding. I'm putting y'all on the honor system here. LOL
One of my fav backgrounds at work.

Happy Trail and Wet Rob.

Best laid plans

Time to get caught up with everything. First, I'm back to my usual perverted, sarcastic self. Can't say back to normal because me & normal just don't mix.

Second, Mr. TM's schedule has changed again. He now leaves at 5:30 each morning to drive screaming kiddies to school. That leaves two whole hours for me to get my self and little Mr ADHD ready for school/work. You know I'm going to skimp on the primping and spend time blogging & checking out blogs. When it comes to hair, make up and fashion, I am much more of a Bella than an Alice. Of course the new blogging schedule that I may or may not refer to as Koffee with Kellan has been fucked up this week. School has been delayed or cancelled nearly every day this week due to snow.

Originally I had planned this post to come out a couple days ago. The plan was to thank Mrs P for commenting on my sorry ass posts when I was off my game but still trying to stay in touch with my bloggy buddies. Nothin is sadder than a commentless post. Awwww.

Then the ever awsome itsjustme1217 from Robmusement chimed in to wish me better too. Well, I decided to go ahead with the original plan and thank Mrs P anway. After all, I have already done one post about how much I love Robmusement and may well do another.

Now if I could just think of some way to thank Mrs P. Does anyone know what she would like? I know, sexy boots. Those are hard to send by blog. Any other ideas? I think I heard somewhere that she may like Jasperpants just a little.

PS - sorry about the shitty layout. I'm really trying to buy Blogger for Dummies & have it shipped to my office since the Mr doesn't know about this blog. Amazon is fucking me over since I'm using a gift cert & not having it shipped to my home.

PPS - Didn't I used to have clean language prior to the

Twi-Bite Challenge? I think you've been a good influence on me.

Back to my Twi-bubble

Just wanted to let everyone know I survived my week without Twilight. This is going to be quick & dirty (that's what she said). We left the 23rd & drove to have Christmas with some of my husband's relatives. Then on the cruise for 7 days of all the food, fun and family I could stand. Before anyone gets too jealous, just let me say that cruises are a lot more fun if you skip the double ear infection.

Would it help if I had something between the ears?

BTW - drinking and antibiotics don't mix, even on New Year's Eve. Currently on second round of antibiotics & hope to kick this infection soon. Have been trying to find ways to make the discomfort relate to Twilight. Anything Twi-related is better isn't it?

My ears are throbbing. thROB, thRob, thROB

Surprisingly enough, when hitting land, Twitarded was NOT one of the first things I checked. So far I've gotten completely caught up on Twi-Bite, Twi-sted Umbrella & Latchkey Wife. Check the links to the side since I'm to lazy to put in the links at 2:30 am. Hell, I'm sick & the alarm will go off in a couple of hours.

Let me put in a quick plug for one of my new favorite blogs, the list keeps growing. If anyone has missed cullen-ary-cursers-lazy-muffins you have to go there right now. I'm making these suckers as soon as I can get to the store & buy ingredients.

Last but not least, Tuesday was the first time I've actually worked a full eight hours since December 17th. Around here it has been blizzard, sick, holidays, cruise & more sick. How wrong is it that I'm excited about working??? At least my co-workers missed me (or was it the e-mails about Edward they missed?) Whatever.