WWJD (What Would Jackson Do?)

Please welome Vicki Voluptuouss as today's guest blogger. 

I've done a pretty good job of hiding my Twitardedness and my Robtardedness from the people in my life. I feel a little like superwoman: normal professional by day, giddy Twicrazed woman by evening. Maybe that's not really at all like superwoman--but you get the point. My RL and my TwiLife (TL) are separate. In fact, admitting my Twi-session to my English teacher colleagues would (surely) change whatever view they have of me (and probably not for the better).

What do you mean you read Twilight? Isn't that the one with sparkly vampires?

So, understandably, I keep my crazy maniacal obsession hobby to myself. I’ll admit, casually, to reading the books and seeing the movies. That’s not a big deal, normal people read the books or see the movies. It’s when you TiVo Twilight so you can watch it each day…fast forwarding to your favorite Edward scenes (Ray Bans, anyone?) while simultaneously checking the “blogdom” for updates and spoilers on your iPhone. That’s not so “normal” so to speak. That’s obsessive—just a little. Sure, I can confess those things here but I have a feeling (ok, more than a feeling—yeah Boston!) that you will understand. No judgments, right? It’s like we are our own special community. We aren’t weird or crazy, we’re “special.” THEY don’t understand us, right?

All this brings me to the collision course of the Real World and Twi-World. It started innocently enough. I was a professional, semi-cool (ok, quasi-cool) person who had a small amount of self-respect left. This Saturday was my 29th birthday and to celebrate I decided that copious amounts of alcohol was necessary. I decided to fuck a mature birthday party at the Melting Pot and to participate in a bar crawl instead. I may have been one of the oldest participants in attendance but I held my own. I rocked the $2 Miller Lights and $3 SoCo and lime shots like a 20 year old college student. I even ruled the flip cup table. I was reliving the glory days of my college days when the booze started to affect my judgment. Typically, that would involve making out with some random dude but this time, I exposed myself as a Twitard to all my friends and a fair amount of strangers. I couldn’t help it. We were at a bar called RATHBONES.

Not this Rathbone...but close.

I mean, what would Jackson do? It’s HIS bar…basically. And I was so excited to be there that I felt the need to point to the sign and say I needed a picture. Of course, it may have been a little over the top that I jumped up and down and said “OhMyGOD I’M AT RATHBONES!” (I may have been hopping like a bunny while I said this ((hangs head in shame)). One of my friends finally appeased me and said, “Why do you want a picture with the sign, because it says BONE?” (Confession: I can be a bit of a pervert and occasionally have the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy). When I responded, I wasn’t thinking...maybe it was the SoCo (Jaime Foxx was right, blame it on the booze, it got me feeling loose) but I loudly replied/slurred, “NO! Because it’s JAASPER’S bar.” At this point, a crowd had gathered and one of my guy friends shouted “Who the fuck is Jasper?” (Blasphemy!!)

"How do you not know who I am?!!!"

According to one witness, who asked that they not be named, I incredulously (and loudly) replied with the attitude of a teenage girl, “Umm, he’s from Twilight” and rolled my eyes. Cue laughter and paint the easy target on my back. I’ll probably never live this one down. In fact, I’m still getting Twilight related backlash several days later….But you know something, I’m a 29 year old woman and I love Twilight. I’m on Team Edward, baby. And I like it. What-ever. So there (sticks tongue out). What about you? Do those in the RW know about your Twisession? Have you ever accidentally “outted” yourself? Any tips for avoiding exposure? Tell me about it… in the comments! (The only thing I love more than comments is a naked Rob in my bed…and since that isn’t going to happen…)

Oh how I'd love to break the rules with you!

P.S. A BIG Thank you to TwitardedMom for letting me be a guest blogger AND for the wonderful Happy Birthday from Edward!! ;-)

P.P.S. If you have the rights to any of the pictures used, just let me know and I will give you credit!